No, I did not eat rice krispy treats while posting this

Things that I could live without ever encountering again (in order of disturbingness):

1) Carl, our house cook's, chunky supposedly homestyle meatloaf. (I swear I've seen him find random kitchen utensils to blend in for extra crunch)
2) Finding crusty disney princess underwear from the last person in the corner of your new room along with waxy earplugs, used q-tips, and ungodly amounts of hair nests.
3) The real housewives of Orange County (just plain SAD)
4) Joe, the family dog's, pools of saliva on the hardwood floor, literally.
5) Really high heels (Come on people, I've been 5 ft 8 since elementary school, I put on heels and people think they're at the zoo looking at giraffes)
6) Tofu, veggie burgers, etc. Just eat a frickin Big Mac for pete's sake.
7) Billy Mays and all the shamWOW! infomercials, if people actually bought your stuff you wouldn't have to be on infomercials in the first place.
8) Supermodels. You just make us all look bad.
9) Cheese Whiz. Speaks for itself, but anything with the title "whiz" in it can NOT be good news.
10) Lastly, anything math related. No, I do not need to learn about frequency distribution polynomial plots or pythagorean matrices x squared z cubed etc etc. DON'T even get me started on imaginary numbers! WTFrick??! Whoever invented that just wanted to screw the human population over...as if real numbers weren't enough...

Well, just some food for thought. Life's still good, despite the existence of meatloaf.
Peace.
Out.
Girl scout.

Here's to socially awkward people

You know those days where you just happen to run into a hanging file folder as you are exiting from an extremely important job interview and proceed to laugh at yourself without looking behind you at the stunned interviewers who are sure to break into hysterics as soon as you leave?

Yeah, It's been that kind of a day.

I always knew I was socially awkward, but this irrevocably confirmed it.

nothingness

Ladies and gentlmen,

I suck at blogging. I never have anything to write about because let's face it: I'm stuck at my semi-recently moved to home aka friendlessville, so therefore nothing post-worthy arises. BUT THEN I had a great idea...how about you write about NOTHING! Well, not exactly nothing but what has occupied my time during this period of nothingness...in hopes that you will be inspired when you are struck with boredom. Therefore, I give you

Lindsay's list of things to do when you're so bored you have begun searching for sharp objects to poke your eyes out with:

1) Read Twilight...all FOUR of them.

Now, I know what you're thinking...ew, vampires I'm not in to all that scifi crap. But WAIT. It's a love story. In fact, probably the most romantic love story I have ever read, rivaling Romeo and Juliet. People would kill me for this statement, but come on...Romeo and Juliet is so 1800's. I promise that if you have read through at least half of the first book and are not totally in love with Edward Cullen then you can smack me. After reading these books I have literally found myself depressed at the fact that Edward Cullen is a fictional character. Just ask my boyfriend...he'll tell you all about it. It's sick.

2) During all this down time you WILL crave junk food, so:


That's right. No Pudge Fudge Brownie Mix. No fat and only 110 calories AND it tastes just like the real deal!

3) Surf Videos on Demand. Some recent viewings include: Burn After Reading (very weird but hey, brad pitt is FINE), What Happens in Vegas (great chick flick), and The Women (hilarious, not a single man in the movie).

4) Hit up Sonic Happy Hour. 2-4 pm every single day.


5) Take your maniacal un-trained dog, Joe, for a walk and laugh when he takes a huge dump in the neighbor's yard. Give him a break though, Pup Scouts just started on Monday. No. I'm not kidding. For the next few weeks Joe will be regularly attending Pup Scouts where he will learn how to act somewhat decent so as not to embarrass us in public. Aka, no more pooping on the white carpet and then walking through it to smash it in there.

6) Enjoy your nothingness. Sometimes having absolutely nothing to do is great.



Life is beautiful. God is great.