Stop this Train

I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I. can. do. it.

This is what I have to keep repeating to myself, or else I drown in anxiety. I knew this semester was going to be challenging, having my own speech clients and all, but I just thought that I would feel more prepared. I literally walked into my first clinic team meeting and had 4 client files the size of Enrique Iglesias' mole thrown at me. What? You want me to look at people's medical history and decide the best possible treatments? I don't even have a degree yet! It baffles me, but I am thankful for the experience all the same. I promise my blog posts won't all revolve around my countless struggles as a clinician...I just needed to get that out. Oh yeah, and I just painted my nails navy blue because I was feeling adventurous. Some may say that would interfere with the professional look I need right now...I just like to think I'm trendy.

In other news, my life is just great. I'm really learning to be thankful each and every day and it's truly amazing seeing how God takes care of you...especially when you really need it. He provides peppermint mochas from starbucks when you need a caffeine boost and John Mayer when you need to relax. (ok, I just like these things, but whatev) I happened to be listening to Continuum the other day and I just LOVE these lyrics:

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see..

Things I love about being home:

1) Waking up whenever the heck I want to
2) Movie dates with my mom that always include popcorn
3) Catching up on reading...I LOVE to read (favorite book right now: Firefly Lane)
4) Home-cooked meals that do not include nasty vegetables because my mom and I have the same taste
5) Not having to spend near as much money
6) Tennessee. Plain and simple.
7) Joseph Carl. (He's a dog...I'm sure you guessed from the name)
8) Wearing whatever the heck I want because I have no social life here (Pajama pants are now acceptable when running small errands)
9) Roaming the streets of Franklin, shopping for nothing in particular
10) Having time. To do anything and nothing all at once. It's beautiful really and I take it for granted.

Winter break, you're almost over and as much as I'm excited to see everyone again and start my practicum...you will be missed, especially during the times when I'm so stressed I just want to poke my eyeballs out with sharp #2 pencils...which I know will most likely happen. But it's okay. Cause I know I always have home to go back to.

And just because I'm feeling extra musical today I will leave you with some great artists I've been listening to all break: Ingrid Michaelson, Missy Higgins, A Fine Frenzy, The Weepies, and obviously, Norah Jones :)

New Year. New Beginning.

Hello 2010. I'm back.

So I took a little hiatus from the blogging world...just wasn't feeling it, you know. A lot of things have happened both good and not so good, but that doesn't really matter. Life is good. I feel like I'm starting to figure out more of where I want to head/where God wants me to head (and trying to make those two align!) That being said, I'm making 2010 the best yet. It's going to be a year of immense change and discomfort I'm sure, so it's a good thing that I'm never doing it alone. Grad school apps are for the most part done, so now it's basically a waiting game until March/April. Where will I end up? Who the heck knows, but that's the beauty of it! In lieu of explaining the past 3 months of my life, I'm leaving you with my new year's resolutions (mainly to keep myself accountable):

-Complete my new devotional
I'm always constantly telling myself that I need to read the Bible more because I'm so uneducated in that area and it often leaves me defenseless in religious conversations. So I bought the One Year Inspirational Mini Devotional at Barnes and Noble and got the ball rolling...it's amazing how much happier I am when I'm constantly in the Word.
-Relax
About everything. Where I will be, who I will be with, when I will be there, etc etc. When things start changing I often find myself trying to control as much of my life as I can and I need to just chill. I'm always going to be a planner and whatnot, but there is more of a balance. "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry..."
-Exercise
Hah, lets just say it's been awhile. Luckily I'm taking a spinning class this semester, which will force me to workout at least twice a week.

I'm sure I will think of more, but this is what I got so far. I wanted to leave you with this amazing description from a great book. It just makes my heart happy!

"There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.) And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known He was, but this time I felt it, I realized it, the way a person realizes they are hungry or thirsty. The knowledge of God seeped out of my brain and into my heart. I imagined Him looking down on this earth, half angry because His beloved mankind had cheated on Him, had committed adultery, and yet hopelessly in love with her, drunk with love for her."
-Donald Miller "Blue Like Jazz"