Life, You're Funny

You want to know something funny, possibly hilarious? Well, it's more of a situation where you're maniacally laughing because it's the only other thing you can do to not fall into a ridiculous heap of pathetic self and sob.

Everything in my life right now has a question mark next to it and I am the world's HUGEST planner. Seriously. I don't know if I will pass the GRE next week, what grad school I will go to, if I will even get into one, how I will find a place to live when grad schools don't even accept you until March or April, what state I will be living in a year from now, my relationship(s), nothing. And this is all hilariously funny because all I can do is let go. Everything is so ridiculously ambiguous that I cannot even TRY to pretend like I can figure it out or do anything about it. I have been praying for ways to learn how to give over control of my life and I didn't even realize this prayer was underway until I sat back and looked. God is just the greatest and He knows way more about what's good for me than I do. So there you go, self, this is all typed up so that you can remind yourself of it when you start to fall apart again.

On a brighter note, I got to observe Traumatic Brain Injury clients work on their social skills today...quite interesting indeed. It's nice to finally feel like you're learning things related to what you'll actually be doing. Props "Intro to Speech Pathology" for not wasting my time!

Ok enough procrastination. Time to study.

Cut me some slack, man

Normally I would not think of myself as an exception to a rule. But I beg to differ in this case: The other week I discovered that I could purchase a weekly summer pass to the student gym, although I am not currently enrolled in summer classes. So I, feeling as if this was God throwing it in my face that couch surfing is not a form of exercise, decide I will be purchasing these weekly passes when I am in town. Let me just give you a run down of my exercise habits...previous to this week, I have worked out a total of 5 times since January. And during those 5 times, you could find me panting like a dog on a treadmill at speed 5.0 wishing I had my inhaler because I'm pretty sure those 5 minutes just spent running caused my lungs to collapse. Needless to say, I have never been one of those girls that was born to run. (I got a B in gym Freshman year of high school, how that is possible I don't even know) What I'm trying to get at is that it's a pretty big deal if I actually spend my own money to be able to workout. So there I am at the rec my first day and I obediently pay the meter for 45 minutes. I treadmill it, elliptical, crunches, etc. and get so into it that I realize I have been in there for 50 minutes. I then frantically grab my things and run out to my car only to find a flipping parking ticket. Ladies and gentlemen, am I really getting fined for wanting to never have to shop at Fashions at Large!? For being 5 minutes late!? This is what I have to say:

Dear Parking Department,
Get off your fat butts and workout. I hope you don't think walking from car to car cuts it. Take it from a girl with chronic Asthma. Think twice when you see my sweet little red Neon with crank windows in the lot.
Fondly, Lindsay

GPSness

So I will no longer be directionally challenged. I finally got a Garmin. Her name is Peg. Because she seems butch. She speaks great English. She loves to recalculate when I constantly miss turns. She. Is. A. Lifesaver.

Love ya Peg.

Poopy underpants smell bad

Meh. A lot has been happening, but I'm just not in the mood to blog about it. So why am I on here? That is a great question.

Things I have been doing (these are not jokes):
-Cutting off poop filled underwear
-Washing my hands 39423 times
-Getting slapped in the face
-Being bitten down my leg (corn on the cob style)
-Dabbling in some cooking
-Receiving a $40 parking ticket
-Driving 460 miles a week
-Filling my gas tank 4 times a week
-Eating lots of ice cream
-Pondering purchasing a GRE test prep book
-Putting off said purchasing of test book due to lack of motivation for anything school related

Needless to say...my new job is testing my physical and emotional limits. But hey, I have it for a reason.

On another note: I'm considering Twitter even though I was once creeped out by it. Thoughts?

The Next Betty Crocker

Oh, sweet sweet summertime. How I love you.

Except for the fact that you have left me all by my lonesome, and forced me to learn how to become Nancy Homemaker. Just to give you a little glimpse of how clueless I am: last week I learned how to run the dishwasher and cook things in a skillet. This makes me sound ridiculously stuck up, but it's really just that I have lived in the dorms/sorority house/my parents' house for my entire life and none of those required either of the sort. I actually wish my mom would have showed me the ropes a little sooner so I could be Betty Crocker by now.

Don't even get me started on grocery store outings. I am like a lost puppy. I don't even fricken know how to properly purchase chicken breasts. Each aisle consists of me redialing my mom and asking her what she usually buys and how you store each type of food. I've decided this summer that I'm either going to have to hit up Wal-Mart for some elastic wasit pants because I will eat out too much due to the above lack of knowledge, or I'm going to get some rare food-borne illness due to inappropriate storing, cooking time, etc. Sweet.

Other than my malnourishment, apartment life is pretty sweet. My own washer and dryer, full kitchen, tv with dvr, 2 amazing roomies...way fun. I've been lucky enough to have some free time before my job starts tomorrow. I've already realized that I love alone time almost as much as I love being social. I love getting to do whatever I want to do, crank the music up, you name it. But I also love that I get to actually be with friends this summer. I have been so used to going home where I no longer know anyone and having to hear about my friends summer adventures secondhand. Community is so great. I'm sure I will learn a lot about myself this summer and I'm pretty excited about it. Well, I'm off to fold some laundry.

Much love.

Death by Finals

I hate finals week with the burning passion of 1000 fiery suns. All there freakin is to do is study, procrastinate about studying, watch others study, eat 4 meals a day, eat snacks, plan your entire day around Karl's study snacks at 9:30 pm and occasionally sleep. It's quite ironic that you are the busiest you have ever been during the semester at the same point that you have no motivation left and could really care less about your scholarly ambitions. Read: Finals. are. pointless. It's sad that you can be doing so well throughout the entire semester and then have the possibility of one final test ruining it all. Whatev. I'm over it. Is it bad that I was sort of hoping the Swine Flu would strike in my area and cancel finals...?

Never fear: This baby is here to help

A surprisingly non-socially awkward encounter

So, remember that horrid story of me running into a filing cabinet during an interview? Well, ladies and gentlemen, needless to say I was not asked to have that position at that time. BUT. Guess where I was today? Oh just interviewing for that same position again, nbd. Why? Because apparently they picked some sketchball instead who copped out before the summer. Told ya so. Anyways, I revisited that claustrophobic little office room and took a second stab at it. And it went pretty well I have to say. No run ins with inanimate objects, unfortunate pit stains, or embarrassing stutters so who knows, I might actually have a chance. Details to come later.

Countdown to living in my own place: 7 days!!!!